If you’re in business today you best be watchful of your company's customer service, whether it be customer service via telephone, call centers, face-to-face, email, snail mail, or fax. Everybody loves to tell their customer service horror stories, including bloggers. But bloggers have a viral tool in their customer service wars; they can publish their stories on the internet for the whole world to see.

Take care of your customers, give great service, and you won't have problems, unlike the following instances that I have recently been subjected to. I am choosing to dedicate this month’s newsletter to bad customer service. How’s this for customer service horror stories:

Auto Repair: I own two really nice cars: both are Mercedes Benz. One is brand new and under warranty so we take it to the dealer. The other is a 6 year old SUV. So that we don’t have to take the 1 hour trip to the dealer, we found a local shop that was recommended to me. I have been taking the car to the same shop for all 6 years, and my past cars as well. Recently I was having starter problems so I scheduled to take it in to the shop. I was fairly sure that it was not something I could fix on my own and that by putting it on the diagnostic machine, the problem(s) could be quickly identified and resolved.

I dropped the car off the night before, like I always do. I wrote down all the symptoms I was experiencing with the car so the mechanic (they call them technicians now!?!) would know what to look for. I got a call mid-morning from the owner of the shop, who told me that their diagnostic machine showed no malfunctions and that my problem was relegated to an aging and failing battery. Great I Thought! I had some regular service work performed as well. I made arrangements to pay the $478 bill over the telephone and would pick the car up after hours.

When I picked the car up, I noticed a very odd sensation in the braking system before I even left the parking lot. I was reluctant to take the car home, but after backing up and pulling forward several times, the odd sensation went away.

When I was 20 miles from the shop and 5 miles from home (at 10:00 PM) my ABS/ESP light came on. I pulled over to the side of the road quickly, got out my manual and read about what the light meant. It didn’t sound good. I placed a call to the shop, knowing I would get their answering machine, but I wanted to register the problem with them.

The owner called at 7:00 the next morning and told me that was a “normal occurrence” after changing out the battery. “These new-fangled electronics are junk on the newer Mercedes” I was told by the owner. I was also told not to worry about it. I had an uneasy feeling.

I had to get to one of my properties by 9:00, so I loaded my SUV with the tools and materials (and wife) that I would need. I got into the driver’ seat and turned the key. NOTHING. Just a cranking sound. No ignition. I tried to get it started for the better part of a half an hour. I even pushed it out of my garage and tried it in the drive way. NOTHING. I called the shop!

The owner was out so I had to give my story to another of the “technicians” there, who could not really help me. The “technician” that worked on my car decided to take the day off so I could not speak with him. I was told that the owner was in a meeting but they would get a message to him and he would call me. I began the process of unloading the SUV.

About 2 hours later the owner calls me. I explain the problem and I noticed that he began answering my questions with a good amount of defensiveness. He recommended I bring the car in and they would get to it when a “technician” was available. I had 2 problems with that:

1. I asked him how I was to get the car to his shop since it would not start; and,
2. I told him I wanted the car worked on immediately, not when they could get to it.

I had 2 problems with his answers:

1. He told me to have it towed in – at my expense; and,
2. Who was I to tell him how to schedule his staff?

He had 2 problems with my responses:

1. I told him the towing would be on him as this was his problem – not mine; and,
2. I was someone thoroughly familiar with stopping payment on the credit card payment and also someone thoroughly knowledgeable in Small Claims Court and someone who could make his life miserable.

For some reason he took my responses personal. He stated that they repaired my car according to what their “$26,000 diagnostic computer” told them was wrong with it. Anything that went wrong with the car after it left their shop was not their fault or responsibility. He let me know that if I didn’t think his business was a professional and capable shop, then I should take my “G.D., !$&$@^!^=* business elsewhere!”  He told me his doctor told him not to get stressed out and that the conversation we were having was getting him totally stressed! Whoa I said to myself. Where did this come from? I tried to reason with him, but he was already over the top. I told him I would take his suggestion under advisement. We hung up.

I immediately called the MB dealership, explained the problem and they said to get it in as quickly as possible and they would get it on the rack immediately upon its delivery. Next I called GEICO and they sent a tow truck out within 1 hour. I waved good-bye to my SUV as it left my driveway. Now here were two companies that know how to treat their customers.

Late in the afternoon of the same day, the dealership called me and let me know what was wrong with my car. Their diagnostic equipment located a bad starter sensor and a clogged EGR tube. I asked how a previous diagnostic could have missed that. They told me there was no evidence that any previous diagnostics were performed as the diagnostic port was untouched when they got to it. They also asked me if I was sure that a new battery was installed. They noticed that the battery did not look new and that there was still a corrosive build up on the terminals.

I had the dealership write up their findings and then visited my old “buddies” at the shop I used to go to. I gave them a simple ultimatum: either refund my money or I would turn this over to a very close friend of mine that just happens to be an attorney who does not charge me for representation. We would see them in court and be seeking attorney’s fees and costs and any other damages we could think of.

He obviously thought I was playing poker with him, and he decided to call my hand. I let some time go by and last week he was served with a Small Claims complaint. There will be subpoenas, discovery, depositions and huge attorney fees. I will get my money back and he will learn a valuable lesson in customer service. Life is good!

Garage door repair: During one of our early summer storms, we got hit by lightning at our home. It took out our well, our sprinkler system, our phones and faxes, and our overhead garage door opener. I went about the task of opening an insurance claim and getting our lives back to normal.

First order of business was our well. I called a dear friend of mine who does handiwork, and asked him for a reputable well guy. He referred me to a plumbing house who recommended a certain well and pump guy. I was positive that the lightening strike took our pump.

The well guy showed up and within 15 minutes we had our water back. He made some electrical repairs and adjusted our pressure tank and we were back in business. He could have just told me that the pump was shot and I would have been $2500 poorer in no time. Instead, he was just plain honest.

I asked him what I owed him, and he asked “How does 50 bucks sound?” I said $100 sounds better. I wanted to reward him for his honesty. He was grateful and I know I can include him in my little family of subcontractors for our properties.

The next order of business was getting the overhead door opener replaced. I like to keep my business local so I called a company in our little town. The woman that answered sounded like she was chewing on marbles. Great first impression! I explained my problem and she put “Nick” on the phone. I had to re-explain the problem.

“Nick” told me that they didn’t stock any openers (?!?!?!?!?) and it would be 3 days before they could get out to my house. He quoted me a price of $345. That sounded a little high, but I was growing tired of lifting the 16’ door by hand. I reluctantly gave him the go-ahead and decided to wait the three days.

Within 5 seconds of hanging up, I reconsidered my decision and called a contractor from the “Big City”. They gave me a $285 quote for the same opener and told me they would be in my garage by 9:00 the next morning. I readily agreed. But I was feeling a little guilty.

So I called back to the first company, explained my situation and cancelled the order…which inspired the Wrath of Nick!. Nick asked, and I quote” What kind of a GD &!^$$@*^! are you?” “Excuse me!” I said. “You heard me, what kind of a GD &!^$$@*^ are you? I already ordered the opener.”

I apologized and explained that I could have my work done the next day and save $60. He warned me that no one could give the kind of service he could and asked me who was doing my work. I told him, to which he quickly replied,” %&#$ you, you &%!!^%@@*. You deserve each other…” Click. He hung up.

Later that day I got a call from the owner of that company. Surprisingly they found an opener in their warehouse and he could have it installed the next day. I took an exceptional amount of time explaining my customer service experience with “Nick”.  I told him that he could give me the opener for free and I still would turn it down. I told him I was going to mention my experience in my upcoming newsletter.

Watch repair: Driving through Philadelphia last week I noticed that my watch had stopped running. The watch is my pride and joy. My wife bought me a beautiful Klaus-Kobec diamond and sapphire watch and it stopped running. I stopped into a local jewelry store off Spring Garden Street, up near where Rocky did that stupid dance on the museum steps.

The jeweler put a new battery in it, set the date, and off I went. The damage was $18.00 which I thought was exorbitant, but this was the big city after all. The watch stopped again the next day, so I drove back downtown to jeweler and told him the battery failed and my watched stopped. He looked at me quizzically and asked what I expected him to do.

I politely said I expected him to replace the battery, as the one he put in was obviously old. He actually laughed! He told me there was no warranty or guarantee on his batteries. To which I replied, “Excuse me?!?!?!” He repeated himself, to which I repeated myself, to which he repeated himself…to which I repeated myself. He ended the conversation by saying that he could not and would not help me and asked me to please leave his store. To say he least, I was stunned.

I walked out of his store and went into another jewelry store three doors down. I explained my recent experience. The little man behind the counter asked me for my watch. He disappeared into a back room and came back out with my watch a few minutes later. The watch was running and had been shined. I asked him what I owed him and he just smiled and said nothing. He apologized for the experience I had with his competitor. To say the least, I was stunned.

Before I left town, I went back to that jewelry store and bought my wife a beautiful diamond pendant and chain. When I walked by the jeweler that treated me like dirt, I exercised my 2nd Amendment right to free speech.
 
Gasoline purchase: This one is full of irony. I stopped at a convenience store recently, not for gas but for something cold to drink. While I was there, I struck up a conversation with the owner who told me he was from Syria. While I was talking to him, a little, old woman pulled up to one of his pumps. She got out of her car, put her credit card into the pump and proceeded to pump one gallon of gas. $4.09 worth! She then hung the hose up and started to get into her car.

The owner got up quickly and bolted out the door. He began yelling at the little, old woman. He was furious that she used a credit card for 1 gallon of gas. He was yelling that it cost him more to process her card than he made on the gallon of gas. Then he said this:

“GET OFF MY PROPERTY. IF YOU EVER COME BACK I WILL BREAK YOUR FACE”

He walked back in and sat back down. I just put my drink down on his counter and walked out. As I was leaving, he started yelling at me, and I quote:

“YOU &^!$@*&@!^% AMERCANS ARE ALL ALIKE!”

When I work with business owners helping them to improve their customer service I first ask them how they define it. By far the most prevalent answer I get is something like "well, it's waiting on customers and helping them find what they want and that kind of stuff". I believe that this is the concept most people have about what customer service is and it’s not wrong, but it is incomplete. I realized early on that if we are going to improve customer service we must first be able to define it. I opt to define it like this, "the sum of all acts and elements that allow a customer to receive what they need or desire from your b".

By this definition customer service is much more than the traditional concept. In fact, by this definition every element of the shopping experience is part of customer service. For example, consumers desire convenience, therefore if your store is not conveniently located, your customer service is behind the game before the customer ever enters yours store simply because she has already been inconvenienced. Therefore she has not received what she desired from your store.

"Wait a minute", one might say "that's part of the physicality of our location...not customer service." Please stay open minded to the definition and consider this: you are in an all out war for each customer. Choices have never been greater and therefore you need an advantage. With this expanded definition of customer service you can begin to look at your operation with, what in effect will be, brand new eyes. Every physical characteristic of your operation is included in the "elements" portion of the definition.

When you begin to think about the interaction between people--your customers and your salespeople, then you move to the "acts" portion of the definition. For even today, when we are bombarded by electronic communication and "virtual" relationships, there is still a fundamental desire for recognition and contact. Look back at the definition for a moment and you'll see how this all ties together. There is not sufficient space in this newsletter to cover many of the "acts" of customer service, but here's a quick tip: Train your staff to learn the names of as many of your customers as they can. Instruct them to call your customers by name when they can. Encourage them to build "friendly" relationships--all things being equal people will always buy from friends.

May your investments be profitable! God Bless!